Friday, October 3, 2008

Where I'm At

So I haven't posted in a while. Since that one really lazy (read: awesome) Saturday. Well, I've had a lot on my mind. See, I'm in kind of a weird place right now. I want to buy a home, so that I can start a life and move into that next rad phase, but, well, I don't know if you've heard, but our country is kind of a fucktastrophe. So I'm kind of in this weird limbo where I keep thinking about how long it's actually going to take before I am actually able to get a decent mortgage, like the one I was pre-approved for in like, March or something. Because now I'm pre-approved for exactly one donkey, a sack of rice, and a wish.

I really can't believe I spent my life paying bills on time and being really diligent about finance so I can get Shawshanked because these fuckpuppets on Wall St. decided they were gonna basically break every possible rule of smart finance, because hey, who the hell's gonna find out? I've been listening to podcasts a lot lately, as anyone who knows me can attest to, because every day, I've got some new kernel of wisdom from NPR or something about our situation. Which brings me to my next point - abruptly, but we got here, and man, everyone's heard about this stuff enough.

Our election. Umm, hi. I'm about to admit something that is going to get a lot of people really riled up. I've never voted before. Never. Just didn't see a reason to, being that we're all tiny little cogs in a big machine in the No-One-Fucking-Cares-About-Democracy-Anymore Factory. I've been so jaded and cynical about politics in the past, mostly because I simply didn't care enough to get involved in college when it was the cool thing to do, and afterward figured I'd rather spend the majority of my time drinking and watching anime and Hong Kong action trilogies with subtitles for several years.

And it was wonderful. I learned a lot about computers and building tech, and mobile communications, and being mega-crafty and making things do stuff. Oh, and video games. Yes. Now, I'm a little older, and while I still get soaked at the prospect of a fresh OS install (mmm, clean hard drives...), I seem to care about other things. Like these things on the tv box with the guys who talk about stuff.

And I have these really strong opinions all of a sudden, that were never there before. And I pay attention when I read things or hear about them. It's like something came over me a few months ago, and I suddenly came out of this weird, long, coma-like haze. Not that my vote matters, because well, we all know in the grand scheme of things, the old U.S. doesn't quite work so well anymore, and it looks worse. If it was a car, it would be a beat-up old Geo - the kind of thing that still gets you where you need to go (kind of), but in no way are you proud of it, and your friends (other countries in the world) just laugh at you and talk shit about you when you leave. But I registered to vote anyway. It just seemed like it was time. I got chills watching Obama accept his nomination at the DNC. It felt like a turning point in history. The kind of thing we'll talk about in a decade or two and remember fondly.

Or it will be a footnote on a Wikipedia article called: "WTF? The 2008 Presidential Election."

Some other things I'd like to mention while I'm here:

If I hear the words "maverick", "reform" or "nuc-u-lar" one more fucking time, I might go "nuc-u-lar" myself.

In spite of my hope for something good to happen to this country, I have a sneaking suspicion that it won't, and I will be living like Mad Max inside of 5 years, hoarding gasoline because our energy policy sucks more wang than a strung out prostitute, and walking around in leather because all the fabric for clothes comes from China and is treated with chemicals that kill us instantly. Also, there will be feral dogs and dirty children who don't speak properly. And I'm either Australian, or I move there.

And to David Blaine: Hey, David Blaine. Hi. Yeah. Ah, how do I say this politely?

NO ONE FUCKING CARES ANYMORE. Yes, we all thought it was cool when you would reach inside some dumb whore's mouth and pull out a kitten on the street a few years ago, but seriously? Hanging upside down for days? And then for the big finish, you came down! WOW! That's about the dumbest fucking "trick" I've ever heard of. I mean, really. It's like the end of an episode of Tom and Jerry, only without the zany climax and far less entertaining. I guess the trick part comes in when all the idiot news outlets cover this shit like it's actually NEWS. You sure got 'em! Great trick!

Now, back to our regularly scheduled drinking and catching up on shows I missed this week. Good night to all, and I once again apologize to the very small number of you who happen to read this for being off the map the last few weeks. You're all getting hugs.