Saturday, August 23, 2008

The Utter Indignity Of Defeat

And by that, I simply mean the defeat of my attempt to have a totally rad summer. I am debating putting all of my stuff in a red bandanna and tying it to a small stick and running away, sitcom kid style. But I have way too much crap to fit in a bandanna, and as far as I know, hobos don't get the best wi-fi signals, so I may re-think that strategy. I did, however, succumb to the ego-crippling wonder that is the iPhone, even after ranting and raving about how sick of it I was last year. I just need to face facts - never say never, and I'm a big, fat hypocrite. What-evs. It's fucking awesome, even with all the shit wrong with it, so you can go and make a call on your crappy free cell phone that you've been rocking since 2002, because I am awesome.

And a sheep.

But an awesome sheep.

Anyway, here are some pictures I found this morning. Naturally, they're retarded.


No. 1:



Is she upset because of Barney himself, or because Barney just ate some unfortunate person whose terrified face, locked in death's icy grip is peering out from that purple bastard's gaping, evil maw?


No. 2:



You know, I did not know that Wayne Newton was actually a Vietnamese transsexual.


No.3:



Former Community College students "Shelly Switchblade" and "Alice Apocalypse" share a drink and talk about macroeconomics.



No. 4:



Note to self: remember that the best way to coax an unwilling animal into a river of sewage is to gain 85 pounds, strip completely naked, and entice it by yanking its face toward my exposed junk, while an assistant slaps its ass.