Thursday, November 1, 2007

Yes, I Know. And I Don't Need It From You, Too.

Despite the fact that I claim this is supposed to keep my brain active and writing, I find that it's been like, three weeks since my last post. Between Job 1 (which pays most un-handsomely, but offers health benefits) and Job 2 (which is a business that we're trying to grow into something better and more rewarding) I have almost no time to sleep, let alone sputter amusing observations into the cybervoid of the 'TuB3s.

For all two of you (you know who you are), sorry. One of you knows exactly why the drought occurred. Nothing I can do, save chastise myself into doing more posts. And with this kind of schedule, who can find time to berate oneself into creative endeavors?

So to recap: I'm a loser with no life, and I don't even have time to blog about having no life. Which makes the situation ultimately more depressing. Plus, it's getting cold, and surfing has kind of given way to sitting at my desk and eating things like huge eggplant parm subs for dinner, which is doing NOTHING good for my self-esteem.

Enough about that.

Things I have been doing - downloading TV shows I don't have time to watch and occasionally catching an episode here and there. Current faves include Dexter (great), Californication (pretty funny), Weeds (natch, although this season is kind of lacking, as any fan of the show will agree), and that new Bionic Woman (surprisingly entertaining).

Things I have found incredibly annoying - Earth. I just don't get it. Has anyone noticed we're rearing an entire nation of emotionally crippled, criminally self-entitled babies with superiority complexes?

Probably not, but I'll let you in on a little secret when we all get old: WE'RE FUCKED.

Yes, it's true, kids today are a mess. And not the way that Elvis shaking his ass made kids a mess, and how hippies made kids a mess, and how KISS made kids a mess, and how Madonna made kids a mess. I mean a real mess. They don't want to do anything for themselves and they don't have to. Mommy Self-Esteem Booster will do it. And Daddy-Shut-Up-And-Buy-Me-Those-Uggs will fall in line too. And these kids are like feral, Lord of the Flies kids. They don't see a reason why what you say or do makes any sense. If it's not insanely fun or benefits them in some way, they're done. They're obnoxious, they're spoiled, and they're taking over.

Granted, there are good kids, but they're harder to find. And it's not those kids who end up making decisions that affect kindly old cynical senior citizens who want nothing more than to while away their last remaining hours scouring the Blue Nowhere for gadget news from Asia. The mean kids are the ones that are going to cut our elderly funds short and leave us to die in the street like animals.

But tomorrow's Friday, right!?

Sorry. That wasn't very funny.

Ok. Close it out happy. Things I am excited about - seeing Coheed and Cambria at the end of the month; this awesome freaking thing; candy corn; bourbon (always); I think I may buy a Roomba, both to satisfy my hatred for vacuuming, and also because I think I will be less lonely.

Make of that what you will.

[slurps whiskey]

Sweet salvation.