Friday, August 3, 2007

God, I Love The Internet

Awesome (I love 2001. It makes my head hurt to think of how awesome it is.)

And this is just ridiculously awesome. I almost want to have kids just to send them to school with this. Once.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

It's Shark Week Again!

And my undying love of relentless killing machines who may rake several thousand razor-sharp teeth along my femur is bolstered by graphic footage of those very moments! As a person who engages in several ocean activities, some more extreme than others, I am always thinking about the rogue that may wander into my lineup, finding me unawares. Granted, we really don't have those kinds of problems where I spend most of my time in the water, but I've been in with sharks swimming nearby, and the largest one we've seen here was at least 10 feet long.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that this animal was a bit of an anomaly, but still. I have seen a few others, probably 4-6 feet, REALLY close to me. And usually, I just poop in my pants a little, and try to inconspicuously leave the water without splashing around, and then they leave and I regulate my adrenaline and go back in the water. And I love surfing so much that I could never give it up, no matter how many sharks I see.

But people always ask about it. And I always think about it. Just can't help it.

But if I have to listen to one more Aussie scientist praise them for being "hoighley eevulved killeng machaines" or "pehrfect predatahs", I may just lose it. Yet I keep on watching, even though I never seem to learn anything new, year after year. Shark Week just does that to me.

Monday, July 30, 2007

She's Leaving Home...

I was casually flipping through the pages of PC World, or some other nerd-lication recently, when I found a most amusing advertisement. It was for a company that sells pre-configured computers the way Dell or Gateway would, but they cater to a slightly more PC-enthusiast crowd. I don't know or care how their machines are, but I'll tell you what, the person doing the ads is brilliant. Check out this picture of the ad:

Now I don't know if you noticed, but what makes this picture so freaking awesome is the girl. She is positively DISGUSTED with her boyfriend. And from the look of it, it could be any number of things that's causing her to be so perturbed.

First, he's wearing the same color shirt as her. That's gotta be pissing her off on some level, so he's got one strike for that. Then take a look at his hair. Obviously a satisfied Flowbee user, or perhaps he allows his blind retarded cousin in cosmetology school to practice on him. Who knows. But his vacant ass-tard expression may be the thing that's killing her, because it's indicative of his mental acuity, and frankly, after the brief examination thus far, he's not doing well there.

PS - she's actually kind of hot, so she has to be asking herself, what am I still doing with this buttnut? I mean, seriously. He looks like the kind of guy for whom Spike TV was invented, and she looks like she'd like to drive a spike into his brainstem. We all know where this is going. This picture is actually an amazing glimpse into the tiny black hole in every failed relationship the moment it begins to implode and one of the people says, "You know what? I can't do this."

The fact that so much of the ad is so red that it hurts is not really doing anything for me, but I'd still like to shake the hand of the photographer for capturing the painful final death rattles of this jackass effectively losing the hottest gf he's ever likely to have because he's so butt-tarded. In fact, the only problem I have with all of this is that she's with him in the first place, but we all know women make bad choices. Christ, coming to that realization took some agonizing time in the early years, but that's neither here nor there.