Friday, July 13, 2007

Friendly reminder

No sex in the woods tonight, guys. And definitely don't investigate any strange noises.

Road Warriors

As many of you already know, Lioux and I will be leaving tomorrow morning for SisterKisser's summer tour. I am bringing my sweet laptop, so we will be posting whenever we can. It's a busy time for us, but I convinced him we can write during long spells in the car and then just upload when we get someplace with a wireless connection.

However, I don't want anyone to get upset if it takes us longer than usual to post. It doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means we need space to do "our" things, you know? It shouldn't be a reflection of our feelings for you. If you had enough self-esteem, I wouldn't even have to say this, but your last bf really messed with your head. God, if I run into that guy, forget about it.

OMG! OMG! OMG!

I can't WAIT for Halloween this year!!!!



I mean, I'm not really buying it, but can you imagine how SICK it would be?

See the rest of the info here.

Lexicon

whorbit [hawr-bit]

-noun; the path a slutty girl takes around a room of people at a bar or other meeting place to determine the recipient of her morally questionable affections for that particular evening.

Did you see the girl with the Strokes t-shirt in the corner?

Yeah, she passed by me a little while ago when I crossed her path of whorbit.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Just a lil' help for y'all.

This really only applies to fellow blogonauts. So everyone else, go back to your lives. Pretend I never got your attention in the first place. Go. Now.

Ok, now that they're gone... I was reading about a backup service called BlogBackupOnline, and decided to try it, because I figured I ought to have all this crap saved somewhere, just in case, and it works pretty well. If you want to take a look, go here. And it's free. There's desktop clients you can run too, but I tried this first, and it seems rather full-bodied. Haven't needed to call on its restorative powers yet, but it's intuitive enough to figure out. I think.

If this is old news to everyone but me, feel free to pepper me with obnoxious comments. Keep in mind, however, that I am still a bit of a noob to most of this bloggy silliness, although not to computery ephemera.

That is all.

The Sodomizing of Childhood

Yes, I'm of course speaking about the Transformers movie. What the hell did your depraved mind assume? Some kind of damp basement, creepy down-the-street neighbor kid moment? Sick bastard. He wasn't creepy. We were friends. At least we were before it got all "weird" and he started dating Tiffany. But I digress.

Any nerd kid worth his salt craps his pants at the mere mention of the legendary Transformers property. And any nerd kid grown-up who has a blog can extol the virtues of the Transformers and rip apart the new movie. Truth is, it wasn't half bad. I guess I got exactly what I assumed I would get. Giant robots beating the snot out of each other, humans scrambling to get out of the way, typical Michael Bay-level ass-drama complete with stupid jackass dialogue. And a retardedly hot girl I've never seen until yesterday. I mean, she was ridiculous. Her presence totally bumped the movie up another couple pegs easily.

So let's see what we can take away from this.

Things that were cool:

- Mega-hottie Megan Fox (holy crap)
- John Turturro's in it, which is kinda cool, although his character was rather douchy
- Giant robot combat (of course)
- Bazillion dollar explosions and special effect sequences that almost make your brain hurt, that's how over the top they are
- Guy who originally did Optimus Prime's voice returned (nice)

Things that can suck it:

- RAMPANT product placement

I get it, but it's so far gone now. It used to be kind of funny to be like "ooh - he's drinking a can of Coke! Ha!" but now it's out of control. Every time I was able to re-focus my eyes after a brain-melting action sequence, someone was whacking away on an HP laptop, while driving a Chevy vehicle, and enjoying some iPod action... and so on.

- Actual Transformer dialogue

I mean the bots themselves. It sounded at times like the stuff coming out of their mouths was written by the staff of some ass-tastic MTV reality show. Who ever heard a giant alien robot mutter "My bad" when he crushes a fountain in someone's front yard? What ever happened to robots just saying sorry? Or, for that matter, not saying anything because when you're trying to save a planet, does a garden decoration really matter? Really?

- Everyone else's dialogue

I know we're all supposed to be cheeky and witty while we perform our duties and save the world at every turn, but everyone in this movie spoke as though they (the characters themselves) knew they were in a summer blockbuster. Kids, parents, adults, robots, dogs, cats, cars, trucks, Ding Dong snack treats (zing! product placement!). For instance, Jon Voight is in this movie. JV is a total badass in most things. He's good at it (think cold-blooded NSA dude from Enemy Of The State). Yet here he was delivering lines that someone in his position (Secretary Of Defense, as it were) would have been strung up for. It just doesn't work; you gotta have the gov't dudes be really stodgy and mean and the young upstart kid be all snarky. Which he is, but that's a given.

Well, I could go on and on about this, but that's what the rest of the INtarW3bs are for. And certainly some bigger nerds than me have given it a good rake over the coals already. But if you like watching big things blow up and hot girls escaping the things blowing up, you may want to check it out. Just don't get your hopes up for it to unseat (insert-name-of-your-favorite-movie-here) in your life.

And for God's sake, buy something, or all that product placement was a total waste.